Fermented Milk.

KAIXO!

Female dog, I am a monster, a ill-doing blood sucker.
Over-weight matriarchal love-maker, now look who is in trouble
As you hastily move through my jungle all you hear are rumbles
Kanye Omari West samples, here is one to use as an archetype.

Gossip, gossip, african american person please cease.

Everybody understand's im a matriarchal love-maker of a monster.

I am going to need to see your sexing phalanges at the musical show.
I am going to need to see your sexing phalanges at the musical show.

________________________________________________________________________________________

I woke up this morning and went for a drive in my pyjamas and ballet slippers. Very cruisy indeed.
I'm going for my P plates very soon and I'm rather nervous about it but being in my pyjamas seemed to help ease the tension so I might do that on the day. Though I have yet to think as far as to what I'm going to do for the photo I were to successfully obtain my licence.

I also rewarded my successful parallel park with a Yakult. Drinking from the tiny straw makes it all worth the wait. Someone very important told me that they drink Gatorade with only half of the sealing peeled so that its harder to drink from and therefore much tastier. I think the same laws of pleasure apply to my fermented milk.

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

Oh also, I can't stop listening to youtube artist Sophie Madeleine.

http://www.youtube.com/user/misssophiemadeleine

Sophie Madeleine Cover Song #02 - It Must Be Love - Labi Siffre

Be sure to check out her 30 DAYS 30 SONGS playlist. Its fantasmical!

BIRTHDAYS GALORE.

TONGAN!


I am currently doing the 40 Hour Famine and I've decided to give up furniture. My. Ass. Is Numb. I spent my first sleepless night on an exercise mat and when I woke up; everything cracked.

However having said this I feel very fulfilled as I have raised 85% of my target goal of $100 dollars! I really do have the most generous friends in the the jewniverse.

Since my last post, many of my closest friends chose to celebrate their oh-so-important 19th which I was not complaining about since I missed so many of them during my trip.

First was Cherleen's 19th upon which I sent her a bouquet of lillies :) Because she's just as beautiful as they are! We went to this karaoke bar called Chaplin and I know how asian that is of us...but it was seriously so much fun. When we rocked up we were hesitant as it resembled..oh..how do i put this... a rape dungeon? There were unsexy neon lights, a spacious room and a man who spoke two words of engrish. Either way, we played the light up tambourines and sang our little hearts out into festy microphones.

Neeeext was Nam's birthday and I had a lot of trouble finding him a gift. So I decided to do what I knew best and build him a bear. Now Nam is currently employed at a place called Bunning's Warehouse which sells timber and gardening supplies and tools and barbecues and general outback supplies. So I put together for him a custom-made Bunnings Bear.

I bought a baby's t-shirt and altered it to fit the bear.
And then I painted the logo on it using shitty paint I found in the house!


Nam's rather tanned so i bought him a black bear and its wearing
the band I got him from Barcelona!

Next came darling Jill's birthday and boy was that a sexy night! She rented out a gorgeous double story apartment in the city for her closest friends with fairy lights and bubbles. We made punch in saucepans and drank them like posh people...and then we had some fairy bread :)


Me trying to sex jilly.

James, Jill and I doing "The Jill"

A bunch of us chipped in to get Jilly this beautiful Chanel Cake
because she deserves only the best :)

After that we went to a Melbourne Uni party where sleazy boys were sleazy.
But it was still very fun! Except for when someone stepped on my foot and I was paralysed for a good half hour. The bruise takes up half my foot.

Very lucky last was my best friend Fiffy's birthday. She had it at RANDY DRAGON - a very snazzy bar in the CBD. For anyone cool enough to understand the reference, I spent the week leading up to the event asking everyone "ARE. YOU. RANNNNNNNNDDDDDDYYYYY?"
The music was set to a sensual RnB theme and we got to hear our favourite tracks from the days of cooties.

Fi getting adorably emotional because her sister who is
overseas and who she misses very much organised for me to
get this cake for her! It was Lemon + poppyseed
nom nom and a totaly bitch to keep upsquished.

Mandatory birthday shots!

Sexy people!

I just spoil you with all these photos don't I. It raises the bar and I'll probably have to keep posting photos to keep you keen - dang it. Well I posted a new blog in under a month. Please be proud!

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

Brief check-in

CONGO!

THE HAIR GROWS!

So I don't think I've touched this thing for months and to anyone who still reads it - GET SOME HOBBIES KIDS. No I'm kidding you guys are just adorably dedicated, especially since the development of tumblr - too cool for an e!

I know its tradition to start my blogs with an apology and pathetic reason as to why I don't blog but we all know I'm just plain fat and lazy :) Don't take it personally, I've neglected my youtube channel as well.
Sooo I'm just going to dive head first into my recent agendas!
I recently came back from a three and a half week trip around London, France and Spain. My destinations were London, Paris, Nice, Barcelona, Madrid, San Sebastian and few little places in between. I have yet to upload ALL of the photos (*insert giant excuse about me being jetlagged and busy to disguise my lazyness) but I got an amazing overview of all the things you see and read about in travel journals and movies.


Yes I took pictures kissing Roman statues in the British museum, attempting look inspiringly radient with the Eiffle Tower beaming behind me and saying OLE! at the Bull fights but I missed everyone in Melbourne everyday that I was away. People say that Europe's supposed to change your life but though it gave me insight into an amazing life away from home, it made me realise two things:
1. I love the people at home way too much to ever leave for any longer than maybe two months. Melbourne offers me more than I could ever ask for and I think alot of us take it for granted. But then again I might be saying the same thing if I was living in Iceland - just as long as my family and friends were there.

2. The next time I travel its either going to be to a real exploration or for a real cause. I've been playing the tourist for way too long - I think I need to leave the camera at home and actually experience the people - and thats not just an excuse to avoid uploading photos :P The next time I go I want to be lugging a backpack and not rolling a suitcase.
When I say I want a real cause I'm talking volunteer work. I've been really keen to do work in Cambodia over a summer or Africa which has been recently tempting. Hopefully I find the right group to go with and come back to this blog in say...6 months time with a story - thats if you're lucky ;)

Europe was almost too pretty which made it a great place for my first real travels, but not quite real enough if you know what I mean!

Well I'm back at uni and more appreciative than ever of everything and everyone that I have. I'm going to invest the rest of my cyber energy into putting a few photos into this thing and end by not promising to blog every day - but certainly when theres something worth blogging about :)


Keeping you semi-posted, Joanne (L)

New bling!

NAMASTE!


I know, I look pretty gross, but try to focus on my new bling!

Heyo! I'm pretty run down with a throat-virus-thing so I thought what better way to spend my time than to blog aye!?

I believe when I last touched base with ya'll I was getting revved up for uni. I've pretty much settled into my little spot out in Bundoora and I've gotten mighty comfortable.

The other day I became quite bored with the way I looked so I gave myself three options:
- Get a tatoo
- Dye my hair
- Get a piercing

Any of which had to be achieved within the four days of my parents absence. So I chose the most discrete and least regrettable option - a piercing.

I got the scapha of my ear done (see above) and yes, IT HURT LIKE A BEECH.

Yesterday at the doctors I was so paranoid that I asked if the piercing was related to my infection. The doctor just giggled at me :(

I am currently attempting to eat a Kiwi fruit, but it feels like razors when I try to swallow (thats what she said)

Okie dokie toodle-ooh

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

O-Peek

BON DIA!

I think I've started almost every blog with an apology for my absence and its getting quite old so...you can all just assume that I am sincerely remorseful.

University life officially commences in two days and I'm slightly afriad to be quite honest! Its like pressing the restart button on my life...actually...I'll use the damn cliche and call it another chapter. It really is! Except I'm forbidden to flick back to the old chapters and relive them whenever I please.

I took down my highschool calendar with a little sadness and pinned up my uni yearly planner. I used to be in total control of my life as a senior highschooler but uni really opened up all the little pockets of safety I was hiding in.

I've been taking on new tasks and challenges in hopes of making the slightest contribution to the world but it turns out that I've just become more lost and confused and surprisingly much happier that way. I suppose what I'm trying to say is; all you Uni students wandering aimlessly...good for us! There's not alot of opportunities to wander and not look silly in life.

Well that's my rant.... but basically since our last encounter...

I've learnt how to do grande battement tendus, grown my hair, learnt how to parallel park, spent O-week with a fluro band on my wrist and stayed sane all at once.

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

Shifty bong.

ZDRAVSTVUJ!
That sure was a mouthful you Russians.

Back at school when we decided to celebrate us, and no one else.

Right. So I havn't blogged in a fair bit. Yep. No excuses. It's summer and theoretically I should have no life BUT I have been busy. I know...how important do I sound now that that's been said.

No but seriously I do apologise to the four followers who read this shit. I've mostly been caught up in the buzz of uni enrolment forms, bear building and the sunshine. Everyone seems rather disappointed with Melbourne's weather but personally, I'd much rather this bipolar overcast than drowning in my own sweat. But that may just be me. Look at me, I've left you all for how many months and I still manage to talk about the most mundane issue to hit the planet.

If anythings been on my mind of late; its been the issue of my personal development. NO I'm not going to enter into some spiel about my hormonal growth patterns etc. But I've just been thinking about how behind I really am in the thick of things. I'm going into uni this year and there are a tonne of things I've yet to cross off my imaginary bucket list. I've yet to wake up in a pool of my own filth, get a tramp stamp or hassle a Maccas worker for a late night burger and fries to satisfy my munchies. I suppose i should turn that imaginary list into an aginary one if I want to keep up with uni life.

People are telling me to take it at my own pace but GODDAMMIT I DON'T WANT TO.
This tiny brain will figure something out I suppose. Sooner or later someone will hand me a shifty looking bong and i will say YES PLEASE GOOD MAN.

Well my laptops broken and my computers and dump so I wont have any new photos that I've taken up anytime soon but I may just scrape some out of the old Fb just for your satisfaction. Over and out.


Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

Everybody blanks Joanne

BHUTAN!

Jussttt Kiddin'

Theres this epidsode of Everybody Loves Raymond in which, ironically, a man doesn't like him.
I know this doesn't sound like a promisingly entertaining blog because no one really watches ELR anymore cos its Gossip Girl this and Vampire Diaries that, but I'm attempting to seek a source of comfort from this episode.

See, Raymond is so used to people enjoying his company that he can't stand it when someone decides that he's a douche.

If I were to choose the single most hated trait of my own it would be caring about what others thought of me. I'm not as pedantic and paranoid as I used to be, trying to control everyone's opinion of me, but I'll admit, it still stings when you come to find that someone doesn't like you all that much for no apparent reason.

Last year made me a much happier person than I've ever been but even with my new found outlook on everything, I still turn red at the thought that someone just doesn't like me.

In the episode where Raymond spends his time trying to win the respect of this man, he is eventually saved by his brother who defends the bejesus out of him. I just hope that if my friends were ever in a situation where they could, they'd defend me too.

Some traits die hard, well at least harder than others. BUT i suppose the new year is an oppurtunity to turn over a new leaf and work at it.


"ON THE TUBE"

Joseph Gordon-Levitt singing "Bad Romance" (SitC)

You're a wizard, Harry!

Keeping you posted and happy new year - Joanne (L)