SEAFOLLY

MINGLARBRA!

I started off the day meeting the Gimp at Seafolly (boy was it his lucky day).

For those who don't know Seafolly is basically the Louis Vuitton of swimwear.

We did a few laps of the shop and I got to choose a gorgeous pair as an early Christmas present so that I could take it on our trip to Rye and for when I go to the Gold Coast in Jan!

Yes I also tried them on ;)

They cost a pretty penny so I'm going to treasure them like my first born child.

But this is pretty much what I looked like.

Gurl look at dat body.

(I was singing that all day while I checked out my own man)

WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE YEAH

After this we had some lunchies and then met our favourite double datees - Giraffe + Sex Goddess. We then proceeded to get spa/sauna/pool passes at MSAC - Melbourne Sports and Aquatic Centre at Albert Park.
We waved in the wave pool, ahh'd in the spaaa, and sweated in the sauna.
Amazingly relaxing day!

On a less charming note, the video I posted in my last blog was a scham. Damn kids these days tugging on our vulnerable heart strings!

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

SEXEOSONIC

INICHE!

CHRISTMAS TAIME
(and a very tired looking joanne)

Good evening one and all!

Today was a nice busy day today unlike yesterday when I spent the day wearing in my new denim jacket...in my bed....and whilst making a cake.

le unfinished cake.

I woke up bright and early to open up at work for the first time! I had a manager with me so it wasn't so daunting but I'll have to do it on Friday on my own! Eeeep! Its probably not a big deal for half the world but you see I'm part re-tard (yes there is a hyphen there).

So I'm really scared of keys, money...any thing that hold value really.

Also I took home my Christmas present from Build-a-Bear! They gave us little Eriks from Happy Feet and his bow tie lights up!

I was so excited because we just got these funky drink bottles last year! I will also be celebrating my one year of work there very soon as well!

(I'm such a dag why do you read about my sad sad life).

I've also been getting back into playing me uke. I can't play very much.

I'm trying to master Island in the Sun by Weezer

girl look at dat body.

Well Saturday was a whole lot more exciting than both today and yesterday put together! Yes I jumped on the band wagon and hit the Stereosonic road! I managed to get tickets off Gumtree which i thought were for 180 for two but after a whole lot of hassle and damn debacle I ended up with them for just 50 bucks a piece! I bought them a few months ago as a present to the Gimp (refer to 4.11.11 blog).

To sum it up, I got my hair pulled, groped a few times, witnessed and smelt a truckload of fake tan and got dirty to filthy filthy music. I am also now 12% deafer.
Overall a very super day!

ON THE TUBE

Watched Whats goin on..

The least I can do is raise awareness. (I also love Sia playing in the background).

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

ITS THE MOST. WONDERFUL TIME. OF THE YEAR.

DIA DUIT!

Eric's first front tooth disappearance!

Today I did some of the first Christmas shopping of the year!

Some of you might know that second to my job at Build-a-Bear, I also kind of tutor a class of grade two's at a tuition centre.

Today I bought some goodies to give to the kids for my last lesson next Wednesday as I won't be here the week after because I'll be in RYE WITH MA GURLZ!

Here a preview of my little packs :)

The kids have a thing for Wizz Fizz.

Special shout out to my friend, who I will call Lamb for confidentiality purposes, for walking around with me in search of this stuff. I had mad fun at the Reject shop - I even went as far as to say it was the best place in the universe. Here are a few of my awesome purchases:

Lots of ribbon.

Candy cane stock.

Amazing Babushka doll full of goodies for my manager for her last shift tomorrow :(

Every week at teaching I keep a tally in class of the hardest working student and the grand prize was a Smiggle present! (They also have a thing for Smiggle).

I wanted the Christmas tree up by today but I think I want a new one for this year - something a bit more stylish and chic!

Other than that our garden continues to blossom more and more beautiful fauna.

Don't they look fake!?

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

P.S the font changing is still not working its giving me the irrates.

Opera-to' please

TANSI!

What I wore to the opera!
With these awesome binoculars my sister and I bought at a market in Barcelona.

In a bid to look top class, I accepted two tickets to the Goldman Sachs Annual Community Tribute Concert at the Arts Centre (lots of top class words).

I received an email a while ago about them in thanks for my volunteer work with the Leukemia Foundation so I thought whyyy not! I wasn't sure what to wear so I chose a sleeveless white button up shirt dress and a little cotton blazer.

Sorry for the "I need-to-do-a-shit face"

I haven't done a time photo in a long time and I panicked.

I drove papa and myself to the city and walked across the bridge; fashionably late as usual.

It was so wonderful because they sang all of the popular opera songs and symphonies so all of the noobs...sorry.."classically musically challenged" were still very much entertained.

Dad bought me an organic coke and and we dawdled before heading home!

__________________________________________________________

Yesterday at work I and a other staff members had the pleasure of being abused by yet another parent...actually it was a grandparent. Long story short I copped an earful from a mean Italian octogenarian because his grandaughter tried to con me into giving her shin pads for her stupid karate bear. I gave the damn kid a club bracelet so we knew that she had brought in her own bear and he proceeded to yell at me for accusing them of being thieves.

Moral of the story: kids are lovely and tolerable...until they turn into parents.

Though that dragged a dark cloud over my day, I did get lots of compliments about my candy nails! One little girl asked if they were fake ahee.

Speaking of work I missed the opportunity to work a few hours this morning because I didn't pick up my phone :( the treadmill was too loud. And it was Sunday pay tooooooooo BOOOOOO i need moneyz!

Anywhoo, I havn't been doing all that much. Just work and painting these little plaster of paris statues that I got for $5 at Kmart.
I've only done a few so far. But I'm leaving the unicorns until last. I want my painting skill up to scratch before I touch those bad boys.

You don't want to know how long I spend doing these.

Over and out!

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

Semi-interesting day for a change!

SERVUS!

Le bed and le shorts from Paree.

YIPPEEE!
I still have to organise the draws and perhaps rearrange my glow stickers but you get the jist!
I chose one that I could lean against to read and do work at night

(its got a bit more detail that you can't see with my shotty webcam)

and as you can tell I loooove white furniture

AND I DONT CARE WHAT NOBODY SAYS ABOUT MY ROOM BEING A MENTAL ASYLUM.

If you couldn't tell yet.

MY BED FRAME ARRIVED TODAY!!

It is even more beautiful than I remember it to be in the shop. Then again I was doped up on energy pills so I could have just as easily chosen a rainbow bed head with a laughing clown hanging above it.

I woke up very early to clear out my old bed (which has been so good to me) and make room for my new one. A giant nightmare surfaced as I realised how much shaddadle was stored underneath the old single (of course one must always clutter the underside of their bed so that zombies can't hide under there - tip #101 of Joanne's Mystical Creature Attack Guide - JMCATG).

There were dusty music posters and sentimental invitations and cards that collected enough dust to plague the country with hay fever.

Did I mention that I did this whilst listening to the radio!? I know who listens to the radio when you have iTunes. Joanne does because she understands the value of a good bogan accent to awaken the soul 8 in the morning.

At about 11 I made my way to Bourke Street Donors to give my share of blood this trimester.

I made sure I had lost of iron-rich bok choy for breakfast so I could have a good haemoglobin to donate blood. I also drank about 6 glasses of water so I was like a faucet all morning.

I went down the street and strolled past the Myer Christmas windows which always make me so happy. The music made me so gosh damn excited for the silly season!

As I waited for my tram I ducked into the Target Centre to buy some egg tarts and sesame balls for ... well lets call him 'the gimp' - purely for confidentiality purposes... so that we could eat them after lunchies at his humble abode.

Multiple slices of olive bread and azn deserts later I got to watch Kung Fu Panda for the first time! Soo soo not overrated. I loved it.

Later I went to ... well lets call her "miss avacado" - y'know, for confidentiality purposes...and spent quality time with my best friend in her Williamstown home. We rode bikes in the rain and made nachos for dinner and I got to meet her beautiful aunty. And of course dabble with her three dogs.

I really should start taking more pictures and of more relevant things.

Speaking of dogs. I haven't done an On the Tube in a while, mainly because there hasn't been much share-worthy stuff but there was this. So here you go my pets.

WARNING: THIS IS A HIGHLY EMOTIONAL VIDEO. IT MAY CAUSE HIGH EMOTIONS AND IS NOT RECOMMENDED FOR THE HIGHLY EMOTIONAL.

Last Minutes with ODEN

PhosPictures

- 803,038 views

WELL THIS BLOG HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH I THINK KIDS.

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

Queen of Kings

GOOAN DAG

A few flowers from the Tran backyard.

Today I woke up bright and early to jump on the treadmill and re-kick start my exercise regime. I took my energy supplement (which I shall refer to time and time again during this blog) and did a solid run and some floor work. I was super dooper pumped and grooved to SebAstian while I ran. I'm not a big sweater, but today I was like Walter Pandiani.

After that I offered to drive mum to Ikea so we could look for a little beside table/draw for my room but dad insisted that we go all the way to Rubble and Riches - a Laverton market in ...Laverton.

Surprise surprise we didn't find what we were looking for so we ended up in Footuscrazy in my dad's friends' furniture store. Meanwhile, the energy suppliments were beginning to suck the life out of me and having had nothing to eat but two small buns all morning and afternoon, I was ready to faint on the plastic covered mattresses.

My parents offered to buy me a new king single bed set in (I currently sleep in a single bed which is lovely because I don't need very much room and it makes my room more spacious but I've grown in width and length and the springs don't agree with me anymore). In my delirious state (COS OF DA DRUGZ) I agreed to let them (damn I've sounded spoiled in the last two blogs but I really do usually buy everything on my own!). So yes everybody, I am one step closer to royalty in my

FOOOTTUUUSSCRAAZZAAYY KING (single) BEEEDD

WE'RE OONNNEEEE THOUUUSSANNDD MILLIMETRES APARTTTT.

So hundreds of dollars later all I wanted was a bowl of Pho and a three colour drink (don't be hatin' on me aZn pRyDe) which made me feel only a little better. I took a nice little nap when we got back and had dinner and now I'm fiddling a piece of food stuck between my teeth with my tongue.

Visit my formspring and ask me a question to find out what exactly is stuck in my teeth.

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

P.S blogspots being a slart and won't let me make changes to my font size and colour so excuse the monotony.

Sayonara Jaffy!

KOALI!

Alcohol has the ability to inhibit the action of the anti diuretic hormone

which is the cause for excessive urination during intoxication

- who says you don't learn anything useful at uni?

I am officially no longer, just another fucking first year.

With the end of exams I think I am dry out of excuses to not blog.

As I sit here with my freshly painted nails and sore eyes from today's Sex and City marathon, I think about how in two hours I get to make "DA ULTIMATE WISH" at 11.11 on the 11.11.11. Pretty childish hey? Well I figure 'what have I got to lose'? But then I think, what more could I wish for? No I'm not trying to say I live the perfect life though I do drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around (with my friends) and soak up each others awesomeness.

No really, I have nothing to complain about! Up until tonight I would have easily wished for entry into this Masters degree I've been stressing over for the past semester that would save me lots of time and money. But at dinner my parents, as if at the click of a finger, reassured me that taking my time could be nothing but beneficial and that they were more than willing to financially aid it, as long as I wasn't racing through my education. Call me a sap but I was on the brink of tears at how safe they made me feel.

So before ya'll make your little wishes tonight, be grateful for what you have first...just so you don't go doubling up on your wishes and then ending up with some voodoo reverse problems.

Now on a less sentimental note (COS WARM AND FUZZY IS FOR THE WEAK)... I'VE FINISHED MY EXAMS WEYEWWW. I locked myself in my room and only came out for food and moments of sunlight like a little gremlin. Hopefully it paid off.

Also I've made a lovely little summer mind map (which corresponds to one of my closest friends' aren't we cute) and its filled with little scribbles and doodles about my prospects during the sunny season. Christmas shopping, music festivals and vacations just to name a few!

(I've added much more since!)

I'm going to rye with some of my closest girlfriends and the man friends AAANNNND again with my family and family friends. It will be lovely spending time away with my parents which I haven't done in far too long (i think they miss babying me).

Anywhoo I hope this blog isn't getting too boring because lots of topics pop into my head and my little fingers can't get them down fast enough! I think I regret not blogging for so long!

Oh oh and today I got a lovely call from my boss asking if I'd like to be, essentially...wait for it... promoted!

How grown up is that word!? Yes I will be a Master Bear Builder.

Joking, you may refer to me as Teddy Sen Sei.

Well I'm all out of breath for the moment so I'll save my juice for another blog (God knows when that'll be). And to celebrate my return to the inter-web...I've set up a Formspring for you all to troll me on. I know I know "Jo you're just setting yourself up for abuse", but I've wanted to for a while and I figured it would help me grow a tougher skin. And if I CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH then I'll shut it down and cry myself to sleep.

You can catch me on http://www.formspring.me/potatojoanne

How wonderful you have been for reading this all! Until we meet again....

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

Fermented Milk.

KAIXO!

Female dog, I am a monster, a ill-doing blood sucker.
Over-weight matriarchal love-maker, now look who is in trouble
As you hastily move through my jungle all you hear are rumbles
Kanye Omari West samples, here is one to use as an archetype.

Gossip, gossip, african american person please cease.

Everybody understand's im a matriarchal love-maker of a monster.

I am going to need to see your sexing phalanges at the musical show.
I am going to need to see your sexing phalanges at the musical show.

________________________________________________________________________________________

I woke up this morning and went for a drive in my pyjamas and ballet slippers. Very cruisy indeed.
I'm going for my P plates very soon and I'm rather nervous about it but being in my pyjamas seemed to help ease the tension so I might do that on the day. Though I have yet to think as far as to what I'm going to do for the photo I were to successfully obtain my licence.

I also rewarded my successful parallel park with a Yakult. Drinking from the tiny straw makes it all worth the wait. Someone very important told me that they drink Gatorade with only half of the sealing peeled so that its harder to drink from and therefore much tastier. I think the same laws of pleasure apply to my fermented milk.

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

Oh also, I can't stop listening to youtube artist Sophie Madeleine.

http://www.youtube.com/user/misssophiemadeleine

Sophie Madeleine Cover Song #02 - It Must Be Love - Labi Siffre

Be sure to check out her 30 DAYS 30 SONGS playlist. Its fantasmical!

BIRTHDAYS GALORE.

TONGAN!


I am currently doing the 40 Hour Famine and I've decided to give up furniture. My. Ass. Is Numb. I spent my first sleepless night on an exercise mat and when I woke up; everything cracked.

However having said this I feel very fulfilled as I have raised 85% of my target goal of $100 dollars! I really do have the most generous friends in the the jewniverse.

Since my last post, many of my closest friends chose to celebrate their oh-so-important 19th which I was not complaining about since I missed so many of them during my trip.

First was Cherleen's 19th upon which I sent her a bouquet of lillies :) Because she's just as beautiful as they are! We went to this karaoke bar called Chaplin and I know how asian that is of us...but it was seriously so much fun. When we rocked up we were hesitant as it resembled..oh..how do i put this... a rape dungeon? There were unsexy neon lights, a spacious room and a man who spoke two words of engrish. Either way, we played the light up tambourines and sang our little hearts out into festy microphones.

Neeeext was Nam's birthday and I had a lot of trouble finding him a gift. So I decided to do what I knew best and build him a bear. Now Nam is currently employed at a place called Bunning's Warehouse which sells timber and gardening supplies and tools and barbecues and general outback supplies. So I put together for him a custom-made Bunnings Bear.

I bought a baby's t-shirt and altered it to fit the bear.
And then I painted the logo on it using shitty paint I found in the house!


Nam's rather tanned so i bought him a black bear and its wearing
the band I got him from Barcelona!

Next came darling Jill's birthday and boy was that a sexy night! She rented out a gorgeous double story apartment in the city for her closest friends with fairy lights and bubbles. We made punch in saucepans and drank them like posh people...and then we had some fairy bread :)


Me trying to sex jilly.

James, Jill and I doing "The Jill"

A bunch of us chipped in to get Jilly this beautiful Chanel Cake
because she deserves only the best :)

After that we went to a Melbourne Uni party where sleazy boys were sleazy.
But it was still very fun! Except for when someone stepped on my foot and I was paralysed for a good half hour. The bruise takes up half my foot.

Very lucky last was my best friend Fiffy's birthday. She had it at RANDY DRAGON - a very snazzy bar in the CBD. For anyone cool enough to understand the reference, I spent the week leading up to the event asking everyone "ARE. YOU. RANNNNNNNNDDDDDDYYYYY?"
The music was set to a sensual RnB theme and we got to hear our favourite tracks from the days of cooties.

Fi getting adorably emotional because her sister who is
overseas and who she misses very much organised for me to
get this cake for her! It was Lemon + poppyseed
nom nom and a totaly bitch to keep upsquished.

Mandatory birthday shots!

Sexy people!

I just spoil you with all these photos don't I. It raises the bar and I'll probably have to keep posting photos to keep you keen - dang it. Well I posted a new blog in under a month. Please be proud!

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

Brief check-in

CONGO!

THE HAIR GROWS!

So I don't think I've touched this thing for months and to anyone who still reads it - GET SOME HOBBIES KIDS. No I'm kidding you guys are just adorably dedicated, especially since the development of tumblr - too cool for an e!

I know its tradition to start my blogs with an apology and pathetic reason as to why I don't blog but we all know I'm just plain fat and lazy :) Don't take it personally, I've neglected my youtube channel as well.
Sooo I'm just going to dive head first into my recent agendas!
I recently came back from a three and a half week trip around London, France and Spain. My destinations were London, Paris, Nice, Barcelona, Madrid, San Sebastian and few little places in between. I have yet to upload ALL of the photos (*insert giant excuse about me being jetlagged and busy to disguise my lazyness) but I got an amazing overview of all the things you see and read about in travel journals and movies.


Yes I took pictures kissing Roman statues in the British museum, attempting look inspiringly radient with the Eiffle Tower beaming behind me and saying OLE! at the Bull fights but I missed everyone in Melbourne everyday that I was away. People say that Europe's supposed to change your life but though it gave me insight into an amazing life away from home, it made me realise two things:
1. I love the people at home way too much to ever leave for any longer than maybe two months. Melbourne offers me more than I could ever ask for and I think alot of us take it for granted. But then again I might be saying the same thing if I was living in Iceland - just as long as my family and friends were there.

2. The next time I travel its either going to be to a real exploration or for a real cause. I've been playing the tourist for way too long - I think I need to leave the camera at home and actually experience the people - and thats not just an excuse to avoid uploading photos :P The next time I go I want to be lugging a backpack and not rolling a suitcase.
When I say I want a real cause I'm talking volunteer work. I've been really keen to do work in Cambodia over a summer or Africa which has been recently tempting. Hopefully I find the right group to go with and come back to this blog in say...6 months time with a story - thats if you're lucky ;)

Europe was almost too pretty which made it a great place for my first real travels, but not quite real enough if you know what I mean!

Well I'm back at uni and more appreciative than ever of everything and everyone that I have. I'm going to invest the rest of my cyber energy into putting a few photos into this thing and end by not promising to blog every day - but certainly when theres something worth blogging about :)


Keeping you semi-posted, Joanne (L)

New bling!

NAMASTE!


I know, I look pretty gross, but try to focus on my new bling!

Heyo! I'm pretty run down with a throat-virus-thing so I thought what better way to spend my time than to blog aye!?

I believe when I last touched base with ya'll I was getting revved up for uni. I've pretty much settled into my little spot out in Bundoora and I've gotten mighty comfortable.

The other day I became quite bored with the way I looked so I gave myself three options:
- Get a tatoo
- Dye my hair
- Get a piercing

Any of which had to be achieved within the four days of my parents absence. So I chose the most discrete and least regrettable option - a piercing.

I got the scapha of my ear done (see above) and yes, IT HURT LIKE A BEECH.

Yesterday at the doctors I was so paranoid that I asked if the piercing was related to my infection. The doctor just giggled at me :(

I am currently attempting to eat a Kiwi fruit, but it feels like razors when I try to swallow (thats what she said)

Okie dokie toodle-ooh

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

O-Peek

BON DIA!

I think I've started almost every blog with an apology for my absence and its getting quite old so...you can all just assume that I am sincerely remorseful.

University life officially commences in two days and I'm slightly afriad to be quite honest! Its like pressing the restart button on my life...actually...I'll use the damn cliche and call it another chapter. It really is! Except I'm forbidden to flick back to the old chapters and relive them whenever I please.

I took down my highschool calendar with a little sadness and pinned up my uni yearly planner. I used to be in total control of my life as a senior highschooler but uni really opened up all the little pockets of safety I was hiding in.

I've been taking on new tasks and challenges in hopes of making the slightest contribution to the world but it turns out that I've just become more lost and confused and surprisingly much happier that way. I suppose what I'm trying to say is; all you Uni students wandering aimlessly...good for us! There's not alot of opportunities to wander and not look silly in life.

Well that's my rant.... but basically since our last encounter...

I've learnt how to do grande battement tendus, grown my hair, learnt how to parallel park, spent O-week with a fluro band on my wrist and stayed sane all at once.

Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)

Shifty bong.

ZDRAVSTVUJ!
That sure was a mouthful you Russians.

Back at school when we decided to celebrate us, and no one else.

Right. So I havn't blogged in a fair bit. Yep. No excuses. It's summer and theoretically I should have no life BUT I have been busy. I know...how important do I sound now that that's been said.

No but seriously I do apologise to the four followers who read this shit. I've mostly been caught up in the buzz of uni enrolment forms, bear building and the sunshine. Everyone seems rather disappointed with Melbourne's weather but personally, I'd much rather this bipolar overcast than drowning in my own sweat. But that may just be me. Look at me, I've left you all for how many months and I still manage to talk about the most mundane issue to hit the planet.

If anythings been on my mind of late; its been the issue of my personal development. NO I'm not going to enter into some spiel about my hormonal growth patterns etc. But I've just been thinking about how behind I really am in the thick of things. I'm going into uni this year and there are a tonne of things I've yet to cross off my imaginary bucket list. I've yet to wake up in a pool of my own filth, get a tramp stamp or hassle a Maccas worker for a late night burger and fries to satisfy my munchies. I suppose i should turn that imaginary list into an aginary one if I want to keep up with uni life.

People are telling me to take it at my own pace but GODDAMMIT I DON'T WANT TO.
This tiny brain will figure something out I suppose. Sooner or later someone will hand me a shifty looking bong and i will say YES PLEASE GOOD MAN.

Well my laptops broken and my computers and dump so I wont have any new photos that I've taken up anytime soon but I may just scrape some out of the old Fb just for your satisfaction. Over and out.


Keeping you posted - Joanne (L)